I have thought, for a long time, that I should write. Maybe work on a novel, create a book of poetry, get my thoughts written down so they can all get out of my head. You know how it is? When you have a particular thought or soap box that you need to just let out because if you don’t it just keeps on and keeps on until you either end up a crying mess on the floor, take it out on some poor unsuspecting person, or just explode into a mass of quivering, non-sleeping flesh? Welcome to my life! I sleep very little because of these rampant thoughts that run crazy through my mind. So you, the readers of this work of insanity, are the ones who will be “lucky” enough to read them all. That is, assuming I end up with readers! Even if I don’t, at least the thoughts will be free from my mind!
So what is this? It is a place to free my mind, my thoughts, and just get it all out. Finding God, struggling with weight loss, dealing with children, growing pains, music, movies, stupid people and thoughts, things that make me laugh, things that make me cry (which according to my kids is everything), just anything and anyone that is a part of my life that affects me in some way.
What isn’t this then? This isn’t a place to come on and post my every minute of the day details, like Facebook; you won’t hear that it’s time for lunch, time to shower, time to use the bathroom…. It isn’t a place to bully others, or have others bullied; it isn’t a place to sell things, advertise things, or use my thoughts to get free items to review – there are plenty of those sites out there, and I will not be one of them. This isn’t a place where I don’t have to censor my thoughts or feelings, so if you don’t want to know, I suggest you don’t ask and don’t read.
Do I expect to post every day? No, of course not! I am a single mom of 3 teenagers, have multiple jobs at my church,a position in some committees at the High School, and I work, on call, for the United States Post Office. If I could find time to post every day then I would have to wonder where the extra time came from or what I forgot to do. I will do my best to get here though, if nothing else to wander through the words of others, to maybe see that I am not the only one who is the slightest bit insane.
Do I intend to humiliate myself? No, but I imagine I probably will. I mean some of this stuff you just can’t make up, and there will always be those who will find something in what you say or do that they will hold over you until the day you die. Honestly, that is what life is, so “open mouth and insert feet”. I will be uplifting at times, crappily depressed others… and there even may be alot of anger or laughter, but at least what you read will be ME; and that is all that matters.
Do I care if anyone ever reads this? Not in the least. I would just write it down in a diary but who wants to write with a pen and paper when typing is so much faster! And who knows… maybe what I have to say will be something someone else is going through and thinks they are all alone. And as previously said, it’s out of my head hopefully allowing sleep at some point.
Do I plan to offend people? No, but I promise it will happen! And nothing will be off topic. If it is in my head, it’s coming out. I hope I don’t lose friends over some of my thoughts, but that might happen as well.
Why are you starting everything off with questions? Who knows! Sometimes things just happen that way. Maybe this is why I can’t write a novel or a book of poetry…. not enough questions! Actually, it’s because my poems are usually horribly dark and even I don’t want to read them! Or 3 chapters into writing a book I actually hate all my characters and kill them all off; it makes for a very short book needless to say.
So there it is folks, the start of a possibly crazy, frightening ride. As my dear friends Nikole and Brie used to say, “You might want to put on your seat belts. I’m going to try something I saw in a cartoon once and I think it might work.”
Until the next thought….